Thursday, November 11, 2010

Always Misunderstood

the feeling of loneliness engulfs him
emotions filled upto the brim
he thinks about doing something good
but in the end he is always misunderstood

having seen everything rise up in flame
the world crediting him all the blame
one wishes he had something else to give
but is wary of the motive

irritation and fear circle around
the problems seem to compound
it seems best to take a step back
he is tired of receiving all the flak

the world one day will come to an end
only wish not to offend
let one live the last few days blissfully
before he gets lost in the debris.

Monday, October 25, 2010

MY DOHAS :)

i) As the sun came down the sky,
Realization hit me like a bull's eye,
Winters had never been such a beautiful sight,
The crescent spreading its sweetness and light.


ii) Your smile slows down the heartbeat,
The twinkle in your eyes is like a treat,
May god always bless you,
Me being fortunate enough to have a friend like you.


iii) As night approaches I start having visions,
Its time to take some tough decisions,
Wish I had something else to say,
Alas I look towards the milky way.


iv) Your voice makes me wish I had a guitar,
That I never knew how to play one is another scar,
I always dreamt of impressing you,
But nothing I did made any breakthrough.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

YOU- MY SHINING SUN

Guys this is my first poem that i have posted and i know its crap but i still love it :)

i miss your voice,
your presence in my life,
it drove me away from all the despair,
yet they arrived time and again i became aware...

you made me not miss my old friends,
in turn realized my virtues hence,
i always felt that u were the one i could trust most,
yet in the end even you had me lost...

but now as i start to live my life without you,
i hope the sorrows are gulped too,
an inner deficit seems to be brewing,
wish i see the sun bright and shining...

my anger lost now in the wilderness,
waiting for some happiness
gone are those joyous days
only pray that my spirit stays...

Friday, July 16, 2010

truth and dare without the dare

you know i have seen how this game brings out many things in the open and makes things so much simpler for everyone.
first things first. letting secrets out is not everyone's cup of tea. this game is not for liars or people who have a hidden personality and are extremely wary of showing it to people whom they do not know. you need to be open hearted as well as open minded to show your true colours.

i have played this game often and every time so much dirt comes out that by the end of it you don't feel dirty at all. and thats the beauty of this game. i might think that telling a few personal questions about me might become a cause for embarrassment (and trust me it sometimes does) but there will be and there always is someone who might tell you something so weird or strange that it makes you feel better about yourself that you are not the only one who has had a peculiar experience.

you get to know so much stuff whether it is about people's sex lives, their opinions, crushes, hatreds, lies or choices in life which they made (or would make) and why.

another thing which no one notices is how it makes people come closer because there is a certain decrease in the trust deficit. you somehow develop a bonding that now this person knows so much about me that you can be relaxed in the presence of the other person's company. i can easily remember that i made a few friends after playing this game because it kind of chilled the atmosphere.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Life's a bitch...

you think you have done everything right in your life???
well guess what!!! nopes. highly unlikely. you are bound to take decisions which might feel right at that moment but later on in life you will realize that you committed foul.

there are moments in everyone's life when you are in a fit of anger, feeling depressed or maybe you are in a stage of your life where nothing is happening and everything is stagnant. you just feel idle at all moments.

its not as if you do not enjoy or have fun but then these are short lived memories. maybe you are just craving that enjoyment all the time. but at the end of the day you do kind of feel as if something is missing. not everything is perfect.

random thoughts creep into your mind. you sometimes wish how much things would have been easier if you did not exist. you could just disappear or stay hidden away in some far corner where no one can see you but you can observe everyone. narcissist people might wish for someone else's fatality.

one second you feel love for a person and the moment that person behaves or does something unpleasant you kind of think if you were not present in his/her company.

you start observing people differently. even your friends and family. for some you gain respect and long that they remain omnipresent in your life and for a select few you could not care less even if they disappeared forever.

you know sometimes the worst part is that you don't even know what you want in life. even if you do confusion creeps in regarding whether this is the correct course on which you are treading.

AS I SAID LIFE'S A BITCH. Try ignoring the bitter moments and remember the good ones. and try taking life as it comes. everything will happen the way it has to. you cannot and should not disturb what has been decided for you. and the creepy thoughts, well just try ignoring them else frankly enough life becomes miserable.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Loads of stuff took place in the last couple of months.
got released from training early and got a good enough project in SAP. again broke up and as Chandel says "SHIKHAR IS SINGLE AND READY TO MINGLE" lolzzz... made new friends and found a new apartment near office. finally life is back to normal.
our new home in lucknow is ready to move in. went for the house warming party and met almost all my relatives and family friends.
in bengaluru now and the sad home-office-home routine continues.

P.S.--- guess want something interesting and good to happen in my life :(

Monday, April 19, 2010

6 months later....

Current Job: I.T. Systems Engineer Trainee
Current Location: Bengaluru, India
Health Update: Feeling good but it can be better if I lose 10 more kilos.
Mental status: Generally fine with occasional mood swings in which life feels like crap
Day to day activity: Home-Work-Home-Talk-Sleep
Current flatmates: Gaurav, Roshan and JSSS Bharat
New subjects learned: .NET, Javascript, NCFM in Financial Markets, Securities and Derivatives.

Why no blogs for the past few months?: Had forgotten that I had one:). Also got busy in other stuff like travelling(visited andaman and nicobar islands), gym (finally lost a few kilos), and this god forsaken job which bores me to no end.

Flashback time

I joined a gym. Lost a few kilos which was quite necessary. Gave GMAT. Will be giving it again in aug-sept 2010. Went to noida and had a great time with my cousins Kshitiz and Sugandha. Got serious about the NCFM tests and started giving them. While in noida I got my TCS joining date (29th Dec) which elated me so much that I was hyper active for 2-3 days. Came back to lucknow and again went to andamans with my parents for a holiday. It turned out to be one of the most adventurous ones. Did snorkelling!!!
Then it was time for Bengaluru. Had an amazing new year in a club. For our first phase of TCS training we were sent to a place called bidadi which I initially thought I wouldn't wish even my worst enemies to come.I just wanted to run away from there. On reaching there i realized it was not even a village. And food was a big problem. But gradually I settled down. Made quite a few new friends.
In late feb left bidadi and I felt genuinely sad because there it was like we had a party everyday.
Came to the city. Hunted for a flat. Life started feeling like slow poison. Mom gifted me a car (santro). The car definitely brought cheer into my life but it was too short-lived. Life again went into routine.
As of now training ends on 25th May. Till then I doubt there will be anything to hear or say.
adios...