Guys this is my first poem that i have posted and i know its crap but i still love it :)
i miss your voice,
your presence in my life,
it drove me away from all the despair,
yet they arrived time and again i became aware...
you made me not miss my old friends,
in turn realized my virtues hence,
i always felt that u were the one i could trust most,
yet in the end even you had me lost...
but now as i start to live my life without you,
i hope the sorrows are gulped too,
an inner deficit seems to be brewing,
wish i see the sun bright and shining...
my anger lost now in the wilderness,
waiting for some happiness
gone are those joyous days
only pray that my spirit stays...
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2 comments:
Well, you've got to start somewhere.. It is quite okay at first. But the 'betrayed me with confidence' part seemed out of place.
If you wrote this as the first draft, then it'll surely improve if you work on it.
hey thanks for the review.. really appreciate it... have edited it a lot. let me know again how you find it... :)
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